2010-09-03 08:19 Loki's Gargoyle Challenge drabble, Biding My Time, is now up! http://ow.ly/2yX0H #aisubs

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Awww...that was so cute: it nearly brought tears to my eyes in some place. I liked how you used imagery with chibi-Usa when she laid her head on her mother's knee.

Although I have to quote ARAYA for her response. I totally agree with her about the Queen part, I found it oddly enoguh confusing.

In other words, nice job, and good luck with the upcoming chapters, I can't wait to read them!!!

Gorgeous and touching

WISE, a few typos, some grammar and show not tell in one or two place and little things like that, typos, but in all it was a nice chapter that balanced the drama of the first stanza.

As always, great characterisation, affect wonderful, images, especially Chibi-Usa, so cute and heart warming and Mamoru, you got him pretty well there, humor and the lighter touch well executed!

Needs a little polish, but great work!
*hands you a crystal bunny and a plushy Luna and Artemis and winks* =^_^=

Okay, you have peaked my interest. Usually, I am a little weary of original characters in the SM Universe, but Jack isn't anything that I would expect at all. I'm enjoying this twist on the universe and how exactly your going to tie it all together.

The only bit I was a bit confused on was that until you declared her the Neo-queen, I wasn't sure what exactly Serenity's roll was. I wasn't sure if she was a wealthy woman whose occupation wasn't revealed yet or if she was a politician of a certain degree. I feel you could have been a bit more clearer.

Also, it seems a bit.. odd.. to me that not only would Serenity be standing in the middle of a crowded room unprotected and.. alone. (She is the queen, people must be dying for her attention) It also comes across funny that Jack would dare grab her by the wrist and pull her back. Perhaps we have completely different views on the subject but I feel that royalty, kind or not, always sparks some kind of weariness in a person.

Other than that, you weave a beautiful and descriptive first chapter. Great job! I can't wait to read more.

Wow! I cannot find the words I need to thank you for being your inspiration, and you represent everything that the WISE program represents, you are a gifted, and wonderful writer and friend. If new members if writers and or readers editors and such read this story, you would struggle to find anything as beautifully and flawlessly penned anywhere on the fanfiction network.

This is a story with a magnificent plot, a new spin on the genre and worthy of all our community to take to their hearts. If I have read a story that has already got stamped upon it, even at this early stage: Classic, Giant, Mistress of SM magic and as somebody I feel could bring magic and success to whatever you write, original or fanfiction, you are to me the personification of WISE, be proud and keep dazzling us girl!

We can't go wrong emulating your style, your dedication to your craft and love of it and I salute you and feel you lead the way in taking SM to whole new heights and am Lady WISE in my mind and heart. I love you girl and admire your kind words to include me in your orbit of writing magic. Take a bow, as I only have seen the flame of talent and writing magic you already possess and with flare display for us all.

Eveyone ought to read and celebrate you as along with many other new writers, you are the flagship of the future of the medium!

The actual story, :D I loved the imagery, the dress, the descriptions of the hair, the first person POV, the shattering glass and the mystery, a narrative pregnant with depth and anticipation. I eagerly await the coming chapters and I know others will too, take a bow and enjoy the moment, you've got something really good happening here!

*hands you a garland of Tux roses and a crystal quill and bows and winks* <3 L. =^_^=