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Story: End Of Innocence
Posted on Sunday January 03, 2010 at 10:45 by darkpower |  |
Rated: PG13
Status: Incomplete
Rubeus has done the unthinkable, and Serena has taken it the hardest. She has become more than angered, and many of her friends are worried that her anger will take over her entire personality, especially when Rubeus and Metaria have a plan to use the new found temper to their advantage.
Can Serena's friends stop her before she goes too far? Should they? And is there a way to reverse the actions Rubeus' and the Hizrounswa has caused?
Part of the Silver Project Saga.
Number of Chapters: 4 Total Size: 232k Word Count: 42,570
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 |  |  |  |  | | Loki - Friday February 26, 2010 at 04:18 | |
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| | | | a suspence and high-powered cliffy, salutations, to you, for delivering another dramatic chapter, and with a few tender moments, I was wondering about the girls and if they would use more of their magical attacks, also, the combination of their powers with that of Casto's? Perhaps I am guessing, but a Burning Mandala, and a Firebird attack, Venus Crescent Beam, and C B Smash, and Ice Storm Blast and other attacks would be cool to see more of, and new attacks in the united Sailor combined assaults, just thought I'd run the ideas by you, but you may already have this in mind, either way, great chapter, a few little knit-picky things, but easy to tweak.
Fantastic chapter! ^_^ *love the story of the bunnies and Sere in the pool and her reaction to Casto and how she says, 'Your Bunny needs you!'* That was cute! =^_^= |
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| | | | | | Loki - Tuesday January 26, 2010 at 20:18 | |
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| | | | Wow, this is getting very, very interesting indeed... I'm intrigued more than ever, the Yakuza! *sits on the edge of the seat* Plot definitely thickens! :) |
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| | | | | | Loki - Tuesday January 26, 2010 at 19:15 | |
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| | | | I haven't read the latest chapter, but I felt like jumping throug the computer and grabbing Rubeus by the throat and choaking the life out of him, especially when he tried to kill Luna!
Good tension, and what an ending, off to read the next chapter, good work... |
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| | | | | | babydee - Saturday January 16, 2010 at 02:11 | |
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| | | | This is a really good story. I hope serena and them can mess things up for the other side. please dont take long with the next chapter |
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| | | | | | Loki - Saturday January 09, 2010 at 05:03 | |
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| | | | DP great chapter, suspense and the fever pitch of the narrative has a good feel, the surreal almost dream-like quality stands out and the dramatic ending holds the reader ready for the next chapter, good work.
Knit-picks, you have double sets of "" ... "" in some of your dialogue, maybe that was an aesthetic thing, but best with punctuation to use those conventions correctly, it was only a few sentences but thought I would point those out for you. Your showing not telling, is getting better, though some redundancies during the fight between Rubeus and Casto could do with a little trim, but over-all a really gripping chapter!
Looking forward to more... |
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Sailor Moon FanFiction Stories © to their respective authors.
No information must be taken from this site without expressed written permission.
Sailor Moon characters and images are copyright © 1992 Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha, TOEI Animation.
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